GDPR Policy

Last updated: May 14, 2026

Jurisdiction

This organization operates exclusively within Australia, a sovereign nation that has not adopted the General Data Protection Regulation (Regulation (EU) 2016/679), nor any substantially equivalent legislation.

The GDPR is a regulation enacted by the European Parliament and the Council of the European Union. We are not the European Parliament. We are not the Council of the European Union. We are not in Europe. We are not subject to European law.

Your Rights Under GDPR

The GDPR grants EU residents certain rights, including the right to access, erasure, portability, and restriction of their personal data. These are lovely rights. We wish you every happiness in exercising them - with organizations that are actually subject to GDPR.

We are not one of those organizations.

Article 3 and You

GDPR Article 3 establishes territorial scope. We have read it. We remain unmoved. If you are an EU resident using our services, you have done so voluntarily, across an ocean, to reach servers located outside the EU. This does not make us a subject of European law any more than ordering a pizza from an Australian restaurant makes that restaurant subject to Italian culinary regulation.

Data Protection Officer

We do not have a Data Protection Officer. We do not need a Data Protection Officer. We are not going to appoint a Data Protection Officer.

Supervisory Authorities

We acknowledge the existence of various EU national supervisory authorities. We wish them well. Their authority ends at their borders, which are very far away from us.

What We Actually Do

We handle your data in accordance with applicable Australian Privacy laws, our own good judgment, and basic human decency - none of which requires a 99-article regulation written in Brussels to enforce.

Contact

If you have questions about this policy, you may contact us. If you are a European supervisory authority, you may also contact us, and we will respond with this document.